Married Couples: Separate But Awesome or Together And Wholesome

Some married couples live in separate houses, some on the same property while some in different cities.
Some say to them it makes complete sense: “if you've got some money, and you can afford it, why not have your own space?” But some actually don't have much money, the husband may even be currently out of work, and the home shared is a trailer. Each, however, make a personal space. For the husband, that would be a "man-cave" — a shed with a TV, cooking supplies, and what not. And for the wife, it's a cottage that looks like a grownup dollhouse, complete with "flower plants in a window box and lace curtains." Gender stereotypes aside, these do seem like a pair who could use separate spheres.

A friend of mine knows a couple who live in separate countries for reasons of work and personal preference, visit each other frequently, and are by all accounts happy. This brings me to ask, who do the children (if they have any) stay with and what kind of upbringing are they getting…most times the kids are with the mum, so how do they get to really know their dad?

I have had first hand experience of being apart from my husband, living in different states. Yes there is this rush and renewed desire when we eventually see each other, full of excitement and need for each other. But after a couple of days, that feeling wears off and it’s back to the normal state of things.

From all this I have come to a point whereby, as much as the feeling is great seeing each other after being apart every now and then, I would rather be living with my husband in the same state, same house. There is this comfort, security, wholeness, totality that comes with knowing your man is right there. I believe it makes for good communication and better understanding of each other. It furthermore creates a better environment for children because whether we like it or not the parents are role models for their children. So from seeing the love the parents have for each other being displayed in the home on the daily, they learn to love each other and also show love and kindness to others.

Obviously, for many a shared living space is a financial or child-rearing necessity. And for others, the benefits of togetherness outweigh the annoyances of compromise. So as a suggestion for those who feel they need that desired space, a living situation where each person can retreat to a private space whenever necessary, to get a little privacy or recharge the flame of love with a tiny bit of scarcity all within the same house sounds pretty cool.