Married Couples: Separate But Awesome or Together And Wholesome

Some married couples live in separate houses, some on the same property while some in different cities.
Some say to them it makes complete sense: “if you've got some money, and you can afford it, why not have your own space?” But some actually don't have much money, the husband may even be currently out of work, and the home shared is a trailer. Each, however, make a personal space. For the husband, that would be a "man-cave" — a shed with a TV, cooking supplies, and what not. And for the wife, it's a cottage that looks like a grownup dollhouse, complete with "flower plants in a window box and lace curtains." Gender stereotypes aside, these do seem like a pair who could use separate spheres.

A friend of mine knows a couple who live in separate countries for reasons of work and personal preference, visit each other frequently, and are by all accounts happy. This brings me to ask, who do the children (if they have any) stay with and what kind of upbringing are they getting…most times the kids are with the mum, so how do they get to really know their dad?

I have had first hand experience of being apart from my husband, living in different states. Yes there is this rush and renewed desire when we eventually see each other, full of excitement and need for each other. But after a couple of days, that feeling wears off and it’s back to the normal state of things.

From all this I have come to a point whereby, as much as the feeling is great seeing each other after being apart every now and then, I would rather be living with my husband in the same state, same house. There is this comfort, security, wholeness, totality that comes with knowing your man is right there. I believe it makes for good communication and better understanding of each other. It furthermore creates a better environment for children because whether we like it or not the parents are role models for their children. So from seeing the love the parents have for each other being displayed in the home on the daily, they learn to love each other and also show love and kindness to others.

Obviously, for many a shared living space is a financial or child-rearing necessity. And for others, the benefits of togetherness outweigh the annoyances of compromise. So as a suggestion for those who feel they need that desired space, a living situation where each person can retreat to a private space whenever necessary, to get a little privacy or recharge the flame of love with a tiny bit of scarcity all within the same house sounds pretty cool.

Secret to a Happy Home

As a newly wed, I tend to examine so many couples and watch how they run their homes and the different philosophies used in building the relationship with each other. Some couples I know have set certain rules based on the norm that each partner has his or her role to play in the home and as long as these rules are followed and both parties play their roles, there is bound to be a happy home. But what I feel this leads to is just a stereotype home where there is little room for flexibility, the little perks that make marriage fun. In other words, a BORING HOME!!! Does not assure a happy home.

In a stereotype home, parents can rightfully demand honor and obedience from children, but they must be worthy of such honor. Many things might be excused to preserve the peace of a home; but once a husband starts ordering his wife and children around as slaves, it will not be a happy home. When there is abuse and cruelty; an offending spouse is stripped of authority by the One who is the source for all authority. The secret to a happy home is to embrace a sacrificial love. If this is to be realized in marriage, then it must be mutual. The husband pours his hopes and dreams and life into his wife. And for the wife, she pours all her longings and love into her husband. When there is this mutual self-donation, a couple may always be filled and whole. Indeed, their love may bear the wonderful and mysterious gift of children whereby God makes them co-creators with himself. When one gives and the other only takes, the one finds him or herself empty and the other caged in selfishness. Such a mentality is at the root of cold marriages and adultery, resulting in unhappy homes.

Once we all learn to imbibe the culture of embracing a sacrificial love in our respective homes, I believe we will all be on the right path to attaining true inner peace, creating a solid foundation for raising our children in a healthy and loving environment.

...love within!!!

       

Family as a Foundation

I have come to realise that there is no way I can talk about kids without referring to the family unit. The family as a whole plays a major role in the upbringing of children, from the relationship between parents to the relationship between the parents and children. As the saying goes, charity begins at home; a happy home makes for a happy child because the child grows up in a warm loving environment. Needless to say, a hostile environment breeds a troubled child.

So I shall begin my journey through the ups and downs of family life and how it affects the social and emotional development of children. Let us remember that we all have our part to play in raising beautiful children who will eventually grow up to become wonderful parents as well.