by Grace Festus
Franca is on her way to the hospital, this is the fifth time in three months that her precious daughter, Frances is battling with health crisis. She has sickle cell anaemia and each time she goes through a crisis, her mum, Franca, is always filled with grief and heartache knowing it was something she and her spouse could have avoided. Now her daughter will have to miss her school exams again this term on health grounds. The agony and pain her daughter goes through each time is indescribable.I lost a bright and brilliant cousin when he was 21 years old to sickle cell anaemia. My beautiful Biology teacher in the college also died at age 39 to the same ailment. As if that was not enough, one of my close friends in college passed away while we were getting ready for our final year due to the same ailment. Ever since then, I have taken time to know what genotype is all about and how it affects the kids one give birth to.
Why would you with genotype AS decide to marry someone with AS or SS when you know that there is a very high tendency for up to 3 out of 4 of your kids to end up with genotype SS? “Sickle-cell disease (SCD) or sickle-cell anaemia (SCA) or drepanocytosis, is a hereditary blood disorder, characterized by red blood cells that assume an abnormal, rigid, sickle shape. Life expectancy for someone with this disease is short. The term disease is applied because the inherited abnormality causes a pathological condition that can lead to death and severe complications. “(Source: Internet)
Wait, I have strong faith in the miracle working power of God and I preach it always. However, the bible advises that you do not dare such life threatening venture if your faith is not as big as the minute mustard seed. (Matthew 17:20)
I know two Medical Doctors who were in love and planned to get married but the lady declined when she discovered her future spouse and herself were both of genotype AS. She had seen patients, especially kids, go through untold pain and life threatening moments because of their genotype and so she did not want to bring kids to this world who would suffer the same fate. Her fiancé who is a strong believer in miracles told her his own genotype could change to AA before they get married. She told him to go and pray for the change to happen first and then he can come back after the change to propose to her again.
The man took it as a big challenge and prayed to God. His genotype did change to AA. His fiancée had to take the result to not less than three laboratories to confirm the change before she believed. Today they are both married and all their kids are healthy. Do not tell me love is blind. We are responsible for the decisions we make in life. Do not make decisions that will make your kids curse you tomorrow. Why birth kids to subject them to regular pain and torture? In your counseling session before marriage, medical tests and advice also count. No knowledge is useless.
Love is beautiful but marry for reasons stronger than the feelings that give you sleepless nights if you have not heard from him/her. Marry for reasons that will make you both stay together even when you do not feel those butterflies in your stomach again. Marry for reasons that will make both of you stick together through thick and thin.
A lot of marriages in the western world crash when the feelings are gone; marriages that last are beyond feelings, they have strong pillars built on values, virtues and vows. It takes dogged commitment for anything to last. It takes more than “I’m in love” to keep a relationship together forever. It is the festive period, a lot of people will meet and claim to be in love when they mingle at recreational centers and holiday spots. Be wise, be careful, do not let your mind and head go to sleep when you are in love lest you get tied down to lust thinking it is love.
Note: article may be edited for grammar, brevity, clarity...
TAGS: relationships, love, wisdom, counseling, ,marriage
Web link: http://embodimentofgrace.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/love-is-not-enough/
Changing Habits
by babyhood
There are two reasons for co-sleeping. One is a family lifestyle decision; it’s important to the parents. The other is reactive co-sleeping. You don’t really want them there, but it’s easier than having to solve a problem at 2 a.m. No matter which you do, at some point, you’ll want to make a change.
Switching a nighttime routine can be difficult because biology isn’t on your side. Child sleep experts say there’s nothing wrong with parents, or children, if they can’t get their kids to sleep all night. Sleep is a flexible behaviour. People needed to be able to wake up back when we had predators and nighttime was dangerous. And children who wake seek out their parents.
You may wish to start a new bedtime routine – involving nightlights, bedtime stories, music, and talking about the bedroom as a safe place filled with love.
Here’s how to transition your child to sleep in his own bed all night:
Start Early
It’s easier to train a toddler to sleep in his room when he’s in a crib since he won’t be able to get out of bed and look for you. If a child in a bed thinks he can visit you at bedtime, it can turn into a game, and that’s usually when problems occur.
Be encouraging and you can make your child eager to make the switch. Say, ‘Guess what? You’re three! Three-year-olds get to sleep in their beds all night! Isn’t this great?” It’s a positive spin, like ‘You get to wear underwear!’ instead of ‘You shouldn’t be wearing diapers.’”
Reconfigure Bedtime
If your child can’t fall asleep without your presence, slowly withdraw yourself from the equation. Instead of lying in your bed together, sit on your child’s bed until she falls asleep. After a few days, switch to a chair. Then gradually move the chair closer to her doorway and into the hallway.
Take Small Steps
It may not be reasonable to demand that a child who’s accustomed to sleeping in your bed suddenly stay in her own room all night. So try making the separation more gradual. Some parents have had their children sleep alongside their bed in a sleeping bag.
Be Consistent
It may not come too easily to walk your son back to his room at 3 a.m. when you have work in the morning, but be firm every night. Think about the long term. You’ll have a few difficult nights, but soon, you’ll all be sleeping all night.
Make it Worth Their While
Some parents offer sticker charts; others give rewards like extra playtime. Create a toy-ticket program to stop them from sneaking into her bed at 2 a.m. When your son sleeps consecutive nights in his own bed, reward him with tickets to trade in for new toys.
Outsmart Quiet Footsteps
Hang a bell on your bedroom doorknob and you’ll notice when your child enters. Say, ‘When I hear that bell, it’s a reminder that I get to put you back to bed”.
Create a Plan of Action
Instead of simply telling your child not to get out of bed, teach her how to fall back asleep. Tell them to stay in bed, close their eyes, and think about something fun, like what they want to do on their birthdays. Giving them something to think about is a great tool to help them fall back asleep.
Note: article may be edited for grammar, brevity, clarity...
Web link: http://babyhoodtv.tv/changing-habits/
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Is Your Child Spoilt?
No one wants to raise a spoilt kid; but would you know one if
you had one? By grandparents’ definition, all of today’s children – with
their videos, wardrobes, parties and outings – could be considered
spoilt.
Also, few parents have the iron hand of previous generations, and for
the most part that’s good. But sometimes in the effort to be kinder,
gentler parents, moms and dads let their sweet little darlings get the
upper hand. Some parents put up with truly awful behaviour.
Of course, all toddlers interrupt, whine, and throw tantrums. Those
behaviours are normal ways for kids to assert their independence. What’s
important is how parents react.
Spoiling occurs when kids are
predominantly in charge in the family. The parents have minimal
authority, and kids continually get their own way by acting up. In other
words, your child isn’t spoilt because he whines; he’s spoilt if
whining consistently works to get him what he wants.
| imagine this at the mall |
Granted, all toddlers have bratty and less-bratty days. And all parents
have days when they cave in instead of standing by the house rules. But
when whining, nagging, and misbehaving to get their way becomes a
constant, repetitive behaviour, then you have a problem.
To figure out where you stand, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you usually give up in exhaustion rather than enforce limits during a typical day?
- Do you let your child regularly butt in and take over adult conversations?
- Do you keep buying toys in an effort to avoid tantrums and keep your child happy – even though your house is already overflowing with toys?
- Do you avoid taking him to the supermarket just because you can’t handle another embarrassing scene?
If you answered yes to more than a couple of these questions, you may be looking at a spoilt child in the making. It’s important to address spoiling now because you’re setting up
patterns that will stay with your family for years to come. If your
20-month-old has never heard the word no, for instance, how will she
handle hearing it when she’s 13 and wants to get her navel pierced?
| They Rule |
Spoilt kids are those who never had a chance to handle
disappointment early on. The lessons they learn as toddlers – delaying
gratification, acting within limits – will carry through to adulthood.
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